Just 2 Months of Running Left

I stepped out onto the road pleasantly surprised that I was able to run painlessly for 6.3 glorious miles. I think mid summer was the last time I felt so free to run like I did this afternoon. Runners have a constant stream of thoughts when they take to the streets and today my mind centered on the year that has unfolded and great expectations for 2012. It's interesting how my passions have shifted away from my need to reach personal bests in time and distances over the first 3-4 years to other things that are not so intangible. It's not that I don't care how well I perform or if I reach new milestones, I still want to improve and grow stronger as a long distance runner but it just isn't enough to satisfy my running thirst. I am finding that my cup is filled when I put other things in it these days. Today I put in the satisfaction of breathing in my surroundings. When I catch a scent of fresh cut grass, honeysuckle, cascading maple leaves or burning cherry logs in the twilight, I am more alive. When I feel a soft summer breeze as I loop around a dark isolated track or the mist of a gentle rain drop or that first snowflake that sticks to my eyelash, I am energized. So running allows me to spontaneously experience the unfolding seasons. These God-sent gifts would go unnoticed had I not felt the tug to lace up and head out for another run. But more than anything that fills my cup is the company of those who share this passion at many different levels. I have changed because I decided to become a runner. But I am more awestruck when I see the changes running has made in the lives of my good running company. To share in the incremental victories as well as the pain and frustration that none is exempt from are the ingredients from life-changing relationships. To share goals and ever growing dreams of what we one day will achieve, is a discussion that never wearies us. One of my favorite moments was to run a 5k not for my best time but so that I could share the euphoria that comes with cross that first finish line with a novice, who will run circles around me one day. Well, that's what I love most. I have learned much from my running in 2011 that I never intentionally set out to discover... That my body, though stubborn and slow to heal, can come back to reach dreams that seems hard to attain... That I do better when I relax and take off the pressure instead of pressing because the training program insists I get another 10 miles in- it will be ok.... That there would be new motivations that would call me run with a smile on my face. I have one final half marathon in 2011 and my thoughts and goals will center on another running season in 2012. Now that's for another post!

To Run With The Young Again

I took for granted my early days of running. I was 15 and a member of the cross country team in San Juan PR and simply ran for a varsity letter. Sad that my aim was merely on "R" for Robinson High on my jacket which made no sense since there isn't much use for coats on a tropical island! I resumed my second childhood of running at 43 and am knocking on 50s door. Rolling out of bed for a pain-free run is a rare gift granted when the planets and stars align. Running fast and free occurs less frequently and yet I am more fulfilled as a runner than ever. Amid training for marathons & halfs & 5ks I have found a greater joy- helping others enjoy running. This past Sunday afternoon I ran alongside Caitlyn, a 9 year who has caught the running bug from her mom and dad. She was courageous enough to sign up for her first 5k race though apprehensive. When she needed a running partner for the race I volunteered to help her. Her face lit up when "Pastor Mark" offered to guide her through. It was obvious that the jitters were in full force when I caught up with her and her mother before the race. I tried my best to help her stay calm but it wasn't easy. I have known those feelings of nervous energy as your strength and will are about to be tested. When we took off I knew that she had never run 3 straight miles at one time and that we may need to slow to a walk along the way. We eased are way onto the course keeping expectations light. When we approached the first mile we spotted a carved pumpkin with a #1 on it. I glanced at my watch and was stunned to see we were at a 10:30 pace. She wanted to know how we were doing and I said "Awesome." She smiled and joked into her second mile which clipped at 10:09 because we were playing a game of passing people for points. Amazingly she was hanging tough and still managed a big smile. With coaxing we were going into the most challenging stretch of the unknown third mile. I kept telling her she was doing awesome and that she was almost done. To this point she had not stopped to walk. I helped her up hills and kept encouraging her about how good it would be that we could rest at the finish line. Her smiles were less frequent but her determination was strong. Although we approached the final 1.1 miles in 14 minutes Caitlyn finished strong. I felt such pride and joy at seeing her do what she doubted possible. I fear that maybe I pushed a little too hard but in the end she was very happy with her first 5k race in just over 34 minutes. I was totally impressed with what she achieved in her very first race. I truly feel that if her passion for running grows, Caitlyn will become an exceptional runner for years to come. Her mother commented that she wants to run faster than Richie from church. He won the Cleveland Marathon in 2003. I guess she is setting her sights higher. I commented that maybe one day, Richie will wish he could run as fast Caitlyn. These are the moments that make running a priceless gift. I am blessed to share the road with others both older and younger.

I Like To Succeed But . . .

Everyone enjoys reaching a running milestone or surpassing a personal best time. Tasting success is addictive and often leads to a desire for more personal victories ahead. When I turned 45 I determined to run farther than I ever had in the past, as it turned out I think I reached 16 miles for the day. It was great but I wanted more. Any normal being wants to get a whiff of winning in some area of their life. I don't have many trophies to show but enough to motivate me at times. I'm no different than the next runner in that I love personal achievement but the truth is that's not what I love best in this 6 year love affair with running. I like to succeed but I like to help others succeed even more. I am not technically knowledgeable on the all the nuances of racing though I have read and experienced enough in 2600 miles to have caught a bit to relay to others. Instead I'd love to think I can encourage others to reach levels they think are unattainable. I will never be a front of the pack helper to fellow runners, instead my heart and passion is for those who struggle to stay with the pack. It is with those who desire to improve but whose confidence needs some propping. I hope that by a few words of timely advice along with an "I believe in you" talk along the way, others will find within them that thing that rises up to reach for unimaginable goals.And I hope that maybe my example to persist instead of packing it up will help others decide not to give up but instead press on to the sweetness of personal victory at every finish line that awaits.

Chicago Marathon 2011

I didn't get the $100,000 prize for winning the Chicago Marathon; Moses did that. I didn't even break 5 hours as I had hoped but I was contented by this experience. For anyone who questions the sanity of a crowd of 26.2 mile road runners, you need to make the trip to the Windy City next October. The leaves are turning brilliant hues as you take it to the streets this time of year. I want to thank Kelly, Shaun, Amber, Caitlyn, Jack & Emily for supporting me in my quest to return for my second marathon experience. This is the trip I almost didn't make after battling injuries from mid July through September. My training was far from what the plan called for but I had recovered enough and did one test run of twenty miles to know that perhaps I could make it to the finish line. I was not well conditioned beyond mile twenty, the heat rose to nearly 80 degrees and leg muscles convulsed over the final 6.2 miles of the course. That being said, I was able to complete a marathon I had uncertainties about through the summer. I went into the race thinking I'd finish whatever I could since I paid for it already. I came with no real expectations, merely hopes. The good thing about this approach was that I entered the starting corral calmly and relaxed. When the race began we shuffled in a steady stream northward zigzagging streets for 7 miles along the Lake. The cheering crowds were several rows deep in places. Their enthusiasm was infectious. In fact through the whole course there were spectators lining the streets. Entering the many ethnic villages of Chicago gave a sense you were running around the globe. As temps rose we were treated to water streams from hoses and cold water sponges along the way. Running on sponges felt good but running through banana peels was a little more challenging! There were abundance of gatorade and water stations of which I walked through probably 90% of them. Because they added more stations along the way, it seemed that at times it became a distraction and slowed momentum. By the time I got to mile 8 there finally seemed to be some spacing between runners but before that your pace was held in check by slowing runners zipping across for the refreshment tables or portapots. Though my energy was fading past mile 20, I knew I was too far in to check out. My cramping muscles forced me to walk enough to calm them down before resuming my return to running. This definitely slowed me down but I remembered how troublesome they became in Akron and I didn't want a repeat of that. The last 2 miles were the toughest until I made the final turn up the bridge at mile 26 where my personal cheer section awaited. When I passed them, I mustered as much smile as I had in me although seeing them waving and yelling renewed my weary spirit to the top of the bridge where I reached my final descent to the finish line. It is here where I have preached to myself and others "FINISH STRONG." This is where exhausted legs rallied one more surge of speed as I was about to cross over into the real of running marathons instead of just one. Everything I trained for that was started in my basement on a treadmill while snow stacked up around me last winter all pointed to this moment I had envisioned. In moments after crossing, I wept as I thought of the adversity that tried to keep me from this moment. This was nearly 45 minutes slower than my 2008 marathon and yet in that moment it did not matter. A willingness to press on when I was hurt allowed me to savor a moment as a volunteer placed a finisher's medal around my neck and say, "Congratulations!" In about 20 minutes I shuffled like a 150 year old to meet Kelly where we embraced and I heard her say, "I knew you would do this. You're so strong. I'm proud of you." And I could not help but thing that what I did pales to what my soldier sons do. In a moment I removed my sweat soaked race shirt and put on an Army Ranger shirt in honor of Andy who ran the last 3 miles of my Akron race only this time he was unable to attend as he is deployed in Afghanistan. I missed him and the rest of my family in this moment. But I was blessed to have the incredible support of friends who joined us on this journey and sacrificed because the believe in me. It was moving to share that moment with them at the finish. Right now I am resting, healing and reflecting. I can't wait for more of these moments even though I am well aware of the discipline it will take to get there again.

Marathon Ready?

Most runners begin to question the quality of their training, diet and mental & physical state during the final week of race preparation. I have good reason to wonder what the marathon test will reveal about these things I've tried to prepare for over the last couple of seasons. As I head to Chicago to run in my second ever marathon, I feel a mix of excitement and anxiety. When I ran Akron in 2008, I learned a lot and hope I made the necessary adjustments this time around. Biggest issue was the brutal revolt of my calve muscles, from mile 21 to the finish line. I have focused on smarter intakes of carbs, G2 & especially bananas. I definitely feel much more focused for this year's race, thanks to gaining some experience. My mind is better tuned into the course as I've studied the map and repeatedly watched youtube videos of the course in fast speed. I look forward to corralling onto the streets of the Windy City with 45,000 fellow voluntary martyrs. When I think that greats such as Ryan Hall will be in the same race it humbles me that I can "compete"... well, at least say I ran against a contemporary legend and that's amazing. Knowing that Chicago's race is only one of 6 in the world that form the majors of marathons only fuels my passion. It is a flat and fast course of which flirts with those who dream of qualifying for a Boston marathon. As with all races past, I will be accompanied by my greatest cheerleader who shares in the joy of being first to greet my weary and drenched body as it crosses another finish line. She has paid her dues, hearing daily running reports and offering encouragement when goals aren't quite reached while celebrating the occasional breakthrough. She has had tolerated my lamentations when I wrapped sorely injured legs or packed ice and angry nerves or applied fiery ointment in desperate hope of coaxing my body from shutting down. Steadily she believed in me when doubts stood between me and the streets of Chicago. A finishers medal goes to her if these legs have completed the healing as they need to carry me over the final line. Along with the constant support she has provided, I am deeply moved that I have friends who are making the six and a half hour trip to lend their support in the race. I'm blessed by all the good kind things people have shared to make me feel like, "Ok... maybe I can do this." When I found out my friends were going to come stand among rows of spectators for hours just to let me know that they believe in me, well that's rewarding and inspiring enough to finish well. Along the way my mind will drift back through the days spent on a treadmill when the snow piled high in the neighborhood. I will think of the many times I ran from Wolf to Lutz to Peterson or 430 & Biscayne & Satinwood or the late nights running on a quiet high school track with only moon light as company. And I will think of my kids whom I wish could be among the crowd of runners. When it starts to get tough, I will think of what my military sons are facing as warriors and I will press on. I will look down to my green wrist band for a few more ounces of will and determination as it serves well to remind me of a classmate's sister who ran and ran strong despite a fierce battle with cancer. I will recall the times I felt like quitting in the past but kept moving ahead supported by the hope of joy waiting on the other side of pain. Often I've hear- "The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak." I have much more confidence in the spirit than the flesh. May that prove to be the case in Chicago!

Hello 20

Yesterday was my last big run before the Chicago Marathon. For two days my legs felt a normalcy that I haven't experienced since early July. Normally I am off on Mondays but since I worked this one, I opted to take off a Tuesday so I could refocus on my random training plan. I have had two 15 mile runs this month which is substandard on the way to my 26.2 miler in just 2 weeks. A marathon running friend told me that if I could get an 18 mile run in before the race, I may be able to cross the finish line after fighting nagging injuries.

Since my mental approach to conquering the marathon involves dividing it into four 5-mile segments plus two 5ks, I decided to make my final long run four 5-mile segments with a hope to hit 50 minuets at each interval. I headed to Mansfield's bike trail for this long workout. The air was cool and breezy with a hint of fog to thinly mask the clear blue skies and gorgeous sun.

As I loaded up on pre-run nutrients for the trail, I knew it was time to test out if I could reach this goal. From Lexington park I trekked northward. Although there was some leg discomfort for the first mile and a half, it did not alter my running form as the last few sessions! Being able to shake out the aches after 1 & a half miles was encouraging since the last three runs required 4 miles of struggle before I felt any fluidity in my motion.

This run was the first I truly enjoyed in a long time as I took in the sights, scents and sounds around me. The falling leaves cascaded before me lining the path as if to comfort healing feet. As fog burned away the sun light glistened on grassy fields and flowers and heightened the blue ponds along the path. The breeze revealed sweet aromas of early autumn. I was running and felt fully alive. As pressed on I felt increasing strength with minimal effort of breathing. At 5 miles I hit the 50 minute mark and made my turn southward again.

By now I was relaxed and focused, gaining confidence with each stride and no hint of fatigue when I reached the 10 mile mark. At this point I gained a minute in a half to finish the first half of my run at 98 1/2 minuets. After a quick stop to refuel, I returned north again and surprisingly as I continued I was able to keep up my pace and after 15 miles I was at 150 minuets and on target. Though fatiguing at this point, I knew I had knocked down the first 3 quarters of my run at race pace. Just five more miles I thought to myself and returned for the final leg.

I continued to concentrate on form but I found my mind drifting a bit in focus during this stretch. I also noticed that I was laboring a bit on my breathing yet kept moving toward the finish. The last four miles seemed longer in my head but I had to remember, not since the Akron marathon had I pushed these distances and so I was up against head games. I countered my thoughts would positives like at 16 miles- I am in new territory. At 18 miles- Liz says if I can get there on my runs I will be ok for Chicago. With those thoughts, a faint smile overcame me. I respected the distance still before me. 2 miles is easy but not so much after you have already run 18. Still I kept thinking how good it would be to cross the finish and drink the water and take off my shoes to stand in soft grass in bare feet. The hardest mile was the final one. It's what I considered my wall to push through. Though my pace was fading, I was able to gently push to the end and finished with a 3:25 for 20 miles! The thrill was in the finish of the biggest test to date. The time was a bonus.

I am now looking forward to the Chicago Marathon, feeling confident that I can do this. If I finish better than the Akron, that will be a bonus. Hello 20! Nice to meet you!!

Persistence of Adversity is Testing My Resolve

I'm 18 days away from my 2nd marathon and I'm not anywhere close to my training plan. This is due to injuries that took my body hostage since the second week in July. I noticed the trouble brewing on a post 5k run as I started out for a 6 mile run in the neighborhood.I was introduced to running pains I have never experienced in 6 years of running. It went all the way from my tail bone to my ankles. At first I tried to ignore it, then nurse it and stop running altogether. Still as the days were mounting, so was my nervousness about my comeback marathon in October. It took a lot of commitment to jump back in after my lay off with plantar fasciitis. I began preparing for Chicago back in the winter, often treading on my dreadmill staring at my basement walls.

When spring came I finally felt free to run the roads I missed for too long. It felt great, as I rediscovered the joy of long distance running. When I hit my marker at the Columbus half in May I felt well on my way to one of the world's greatest marathons. When you submit your non refundable payment to enter, there's no way to go but all out in your focus and training. And I did... until July. My monthly calendar was streaming in red marking nearly every day with miles for the day, the week and the month. Then came July and the entries became thinner, with weeks completely blank as the race clock ticked on and on.

I tried rest, ibuprofen, ice packs, wraps, ointments, massages and my first experiences with chiropractic treatments. I bought other shoes, tried different running styles and sought advice and encouragement in high doses.

With training as my backdrop, I even delivered a series of messages in church on the parallel between the Christian life and running. I even announced my plans to run and sought sponsors to raise support for Chicago's oldest rescue mission "Olive Branch." Immediately support started coming in but the pain was only increasing with time. I struggled to run with diminishing returns and finally I faced a perceived reality. I could not do this, as much I wanted to try, so I called it off. No trip to Chicago and I was deeply disappointed. But then on Labor Day I went to the high school track and ran, surprising myself with 15 miles worth. Elation was short lived as I attempted a return a couple days later when I could not muster even a half mile because my body went into total rebellion.

When i returned home I was so let down that I walked into my office and pulled down every trace of running (medals, bibs, pics, trophies, gear) and I shoved it in the closet out of sight. There was only one running picture left on the wall. I refused to take it down because it was different from the others. It was a picture of my son Andy and me after we did a 5k race together just before he went into the Army. He is now serving as a Corporal in the infantry over in Afghanistan. That lone picture was kept up for sentimental reasons but it has become a reminder not to give up or quit even when you think you're spent.

This past Saturday, I decided to return to the track after a week's absence and a finally fading leg pain. To my surprise, I found my 2 and half mile run tolerable and decided to call it a day at the track. On Sunday night I returned to the dim lit track which was all mine. I was not sure how I would do but was determined to give it my best. The first few miles were a struggle and I paused to stretch, adjust and continue. Then things came together and the laps started piling up as the air continued to cool. By 11:30 pm I had made 60 loops for 15 miles and added an extra half from an earlier attempt to equal my best distance of the year! When Monday arrived, I felt fine. Today is Tuesday and after tonight's 8 mile run, I have run the equivalent of a marathon since Saturday.

I am finally feeling a renewed sense of confidence as I have battled through with patience. I am not as fast but I have developed an enduring capacity that may lead to a pleasant surprise in Chicago next month.