Too Many Byes

I'm saying good bye too often this year. This time I write as I reflect the passing of Duane Bates. He was my step father during those wonderful teen years of my life. Affectionately known as "Pa" not only to family, but to the whole neighborhood. If you ever saw Pa from the Waltons, then you would know a little of the nature of this man. Duane was as earthy as they come. He modeled a strong work ethic and was a lineman for the New York State Electric & Gas. He enjoyed a simple country life, loved John Wayne and enjoyed fishing. He was quite good with a harmonica too.

A few memories I recall with Pa include riding to Canada in the back of his old Chevy pick up to spend a week on the lake. It was the same truck that I would learn to drive a standard with shift on the column. This was also the same truck I got stuck during a late winter snow.

We lived on a farm with a few animals. I remember how amazed I was when he'd yell "Ka-boss!!" which was followed by cattle heading to the feeding troughs. He loved dogs, especially a dog named Poochie. He would talk to it like a baby as it wagged it's tail in delight at the lavished attention. As I mention this I am realizing that I picked up this mannerism from Duane.

He had a hilarious sense of humor. One joke in particular was quite effective on me. With absolute solemness he told me how he had this puppy he loved that was out in the garage while he was repairing a gas tank on his truck. He had drained the tank and had left the pan by the truck when the little cuss jumped in it and then started to run in circles until it just slowed and quite. His voice broke off as he told how awful it was. I was caught up in the story and asked what happened to the dog. He looked tearful and then said, "He ran out of gas!" which was followed by him slapping his knee and roaring in laughter.

While I definitely had a good relationship with my dad through my teen years, the miles between us certainly made it hard to seek his daily guidance in my life. For this I was grateful to have Duane as my step dad during this period in my life. I'm glad I got that Kelly got to meet him when we got engaged. I'm thankful for the family Bible he gave us on our wedding and for the visit we had shortly after we got married.

When I went off to college Pa no longer was my step dad as things changed during my freshman year. Yet I look back at that span from 1974-1980 and was grateful for the man who worked hard to feed us and keep us warm through the long winter nights in upstate New York. I read his obituary which reported that he died at 80 years old. It was hard to imagine because I was thinking of him as he was last time I saw him and maybe that's the best way to keep him in my mind as a post the tribute for yet another person whose life left an impact on mine. I hope this will be the last one I need to post in 2009.